If ever there is a book that will save many a marriage or relationship (and make you laugh while reading it), THIS IS IT — “Why Men Don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps”. My feet were killing me at a mall while I waited for hubby to pick me up, so I dodged into the bookstore and ended up buying this one.
I had read “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” and it was good, intellectual reading — that is, if you got to finish reading it from cover to cover. This book, authored by Allan & Barbara Pease, may be a very simplified version of the Venus-Mars one but it does play up so many of the irritants that can crop up between a man and a woman and gives a logical explanation to them — that when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of things, men and women are indeed WIRED DIFFERENTLY and, in the authors’ words, “the way our brains are wired and the hormones pulsing through our bodies are the two factors that largely dictate, long before we are born, how we will think and behave. Our instincts are simply our genes determining how our bodies will behave in given sets of circumstances.”
Just take a look at a few of their humorous findings:
– Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: It’s unknown. It’s never happened. (I actually laughed out loud at this one since I had just changed the roll of toilet paper that morning and read this soon after.)
– When a woman, in a fit of anger shouts: “I do not want to talk about it!”, her girl friend would know that she actually DOES want to talk about it. A guy would take her statement literally and drop the subject altogether. (know why? they don’t read between the lines like we do….they take stuff at face value!)
– When a woman goes to the ladies room and invites a female friend to come along, it is a social activity (she engages her girl friend in small talk while powdering her nose, or meets a new friend and strikes up a conversation); if a guy were to ask another guy to go with him to the men’s room, they would be considered queer.)
– A man’s threshold of pain is lower than a woman’s. Which is why a slight fever would make a man react like he was at death’s door. And yet, if a woman were to be taken ill, her man would react as though it was just one of those things and maybe, with a little bed rest, they could still have sex later….(do I see many of you ladies out there nodding your heads?)
The whole book has chapters upon chapters devoted to “Why Men….” vs. “Why Women…” and “What Men Want” vs. “What Women Want”. Many of the situations and explanations are presented in an overly simplified manner, at times — but why not? This appeals to me precisely because I can just put up my feet at the end of a tiring day and unwind with this book and not have to feel like I was taking in a psychology lecture.
You just have to get the book yourself and experience the fun of understanding your man (or woman) while laughing at your own reactions under given situations. When you know what makes your loved one tick, it makes for a better and stronger relationship…hopefully!
I can’t help attaching these diagrams, which I got from the book. These should convince you to go out and get a copy — and live a happier life together.
I read the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” from start to ending. The thing is it helped me understand the male mind. In the end, what really helped was fixing myself.
Well, you sure fixed yourself so well, Noemi. I think all of us need “fixing” of some sort. We all carry some form of baggage and just need to find out how to let go of these so we can move on in life.
whoa, what a coincidence. we women really think of the same as to how men differs vs. women. i also happen to wrote something similar to this in my online journal. 🙂
http://fengguillermobrum.wordpress.com/2007/02/08/when-gender-differences-collide/
by the way, Happy Mothers Day tomorrow. 🙂
I just came from your blog, Feng, and left a comment. Hehe, we women really think alike. That’s why we can’t survive without girl friends!
Happy Mother’s Day too! 🙂
Happy Mother’s day! Here’s to a job well done. Cheers!
Cheers too, Noemi! Can’t wait to see you again at our PMN mommy lunch!
Happy Mother’s Day to you! Sounds like a book worth reading. Thanks for sharing some excerpts. Take care!
Hi Rach! Your blog is fun to look at. I wish I could learn how to improve mine over time. I’ll link you up on my blog and promise to visit yours every now and then. Happy Mother’s Day to you too!
Belated Happy Mothers’ Day. I married at a young age and have been married for 20 yrs. now. My secret is to always remind myself that my wife and I have the same feelings. It makes everything easier to understand.
Another tip for the men, never stop courting your wife. Men are inherently insecure, they need to be reassured from time to time. Don’t just be a husband, be a friend, a brother, a confidant and a lover.
My 20 yrs. of marriage have given me 2 wonderful kids, 18 and 10. I hope they both learn from us.
Thanks for sharing this, Jane. I would try to look for this book when we go to the nearby bookstore.
Hope you had a wonderful mother’s day yesterday.
**Schumey** – Thank you for the Mother’s Day greetings! This year will also mark our 20th anniversary. I like your sensitivity to your wife. Many men can take a hint or two from you….
**Julie** – When you’re done reading the book, let’s compare notes! I hope you enjoy it. I am still reading portions of it and they make for a good laugh every now and then. But…how true, how true! 🙂
Hi Jane. Can I ask you to make a 6-8 paragraph article on the lessons you’ve learned from this book for the MabutingBalita mailing list?
(Oh and wait. And have I included you in the list? Do you receive anything from me or Mabuting.balita@gmail.com? If not, please send me your email at jun dot asis at gmail dot com.)
And belated Happy Mother’s Day to you =)
Hi there, Jun! 🙂
I’m still into reading the book. In fact, just took a test from the book to determine if my brain is all feminine/ all masculine/ or a mix of both (I am in the last category). Let me try to make some mental notes as I go along my reading to see if I can indeed come up with your 6-8 paragraphs, hehe.
And no, I am NOT on your mailing list. Will send you my email address…thanks!!!
ok. no rush. and will add your email.