It’s Never Too Early to Be a Gentleman

First off, let me tell any readers with ultra feminist views that this post is NOT for you!

I may be of the old school but I love chivalry and the idea of white knights in shining armor coming to the rescue of their maidens. The few times I have ridden the MRT is an observation exercise in male social behavior and test of the almost extinct virtue of chivalry.

There will be guys who will sleep through the ride (or totally ignore you) while seated, oblivious of you standing in front of them. Or spring a delightful surprise on you as someone did last week at the train when he stood up and gave up his seat for me. Awwwww!

Boys will be boys they say and my boys were no different. If they were hungry, they would race to get the food on the table — never mind if their sisters were there. They would also race to get inside the car first as the passenger seat beside the driver was the seat of choice. We girls were often left opening doors ourselves. As for shopping bags? They were the first to complain of being tired and would pass their bags to me or hubby to carry.

So when M1 entered Grade 7, I felt it was time to teach him the finer points of being a gentleman, seeing that in high school, he would begin socializing with those of the opposite gender.

I would take a few occasions to teach him. For example, when we would ride the car, I would tell him that the gentleman opens the door for a lady and closes it once she is in. At the doors of malls or any place we would go to, I would remind him that the gentleman opens the door to let the ladies through. Ladies always had first pick of food (no matter how famished you were!).

I was not particularly successful in the 7th grade. Come to think of it, I also struggled through his first year in high school. Many, many times, I found myself repeating over and over the gentleman’s etiquette rules. Once I had to ask myself if my sons would ever learn to be gentlemen.

Now that M1 is in his junior year in high school, I see a wonderful transformation. Once at a mall, after seeing my hands full of shopping bags, he actually came up to me and took them. Every time we ride in the car nowadays, I delight in him opening the door for his Mama and closing it after me. Even when crossing the street, I realize that he moves always in the direction of the dangerous side of oncoming cars as he accompanies me across. WOW!

There are still things we have not practised together, such as pulling out a chair for a lady to seat her. But we will eventually get there. One lesson at a time. For now, I see my M1 growing into (hopefully) a gentleman with genteel manners. After all, if I enjoy being at the receiving end of chivalry, I want my sons to likewise make their female friends feel the same way.

My next target: M2 (who is now in first year high school).

Wish me luck! 🙂