This past election has drained me – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As I looked at the lineup of the 12 new senators, I felt a deep sadness creep over me. For months, my prayers at Mass had always been for the country. I would even pray for a change of heart of the President. I tried to carry hope in my heart that this election, we could start a change for the better by electing competent and independent public servants.
My hopes for the future have been dashed to the ground, broken into hundreds of pieces. I do not even know how I can pick them all up and put them back together.
I left the corporate world two decades ago to take care of my children full time. I tutored them, became a parent officer in their schools, went with them on field trips, and so on. But most of all, I wanted to be a constant presence as they grew up and formed their values.
We are now living in a world where values, as well as good manners and right conduct, have been turned upside down and inside out. People in position tell us that honesty is not expected of candidates running for office until they are elected; leaders lambast the Pope, the clergy, the church, and our faith to our faces; respect for women is at an all-time low; the poor get the short end of the stick while the rich criminals get away; drug-related killings are normal fare in the news, and cursing at the highest levels are just a person’s ‘style’.
Some may say these have nothing to do with raising kids or grandkids. On the contrary. It has EVERYTHING to do with it. My kids may be adults already with minds of their own and in that sense, I’m blessed that their values have long been formed. But what about my grandkids and their generation who are just beginning their lives and learning about the world? What values will they pick up? If we do not do anything, all the time and effort we parents have put in to mold and shape the hearts and minds of our children will all be reversed by a world whose new normal is the exact opposite.
Advocacy work is hard and oftentimes a thankless one. Sometimes you feel like it is one step forward, five steps backward. I have asked myself once too often — what’s the point??? Life would be so much more uncomplicated if I just focused on my family, non-advocacy blogging, my yin yoga practice, and everything seniors should be enjoying. But will I be at peace?
At night, I walk around the rooms and look in on my sleeping grown children and I know that I cannot give up and lose hope. I look at the photos of my innocent grandkids (my sister’s grandkids, actually) and I wonder what their future will be like once my generation is gone. I only have a few more years left; if lucky, a couple more decades. But my kids and grandkids will live on for several decades more. What will their world be like? If my generation does not do anything, what we leave behind will be theirs to live with. What we allow is the world they will inherit.
I lived through martial law. I was at EDSA during People Power. The journey from dictatorship back to democracy has cost so many lives. Future generations should not experience it or anything akin to it ever again. But once again, our fragile democracy is under grave threat. At a recent forum of the Consortium on Democracy and Disinformation, I was in a panel that discussed democratic decay in our country. I will add to that and say that if we just let things be and don’t take a proactive stance, we will also fall into deeper moral decay. Our children and their children will bear the full consequences.
Despite the perceived anomalies of the last election and the election of a super majority presence in the Senate, there is a flicker of hope. Young blood won in different local government units over well-entrenched political dynasties. Whether they turn out to be the servant leaders we have been praying for remains to be seen though.
So here I am typing this blog post out while waiting for my children to come home from work. I am their mom first before anything else. When they get sick, everything else takes second place. It’s a good thing that they are already adults. I now have more time for myself and that is what I want to maximize as long as I can. When I go out, my kids know that I will be covering a blogging event, going to a conference, giving a talk, or attending a rally. Dinner conversations will always range from mundane stuff to their day at work to the latest video game strategies to the current eco-socio-political issues. One day, I won’t be around anymore. But I hope that my kids won’t ever forget the memory of their mom who chose not to go quietly in the night but continued fighting for a better future for them and their children.
