Free Burma


Free Burma!

I first got wind of this through Noemi’s post.

This picture of monks walking down the streets of Burma, protesting its military junta, and joining the civilian protesters, gave me the shivers.

I recalled the Philippines’ EDSA I Revolution (People Power) in the 80s when, in protest of the Marcos dictatorship and in support for the rebels, millions of Filipinos came out into the street (nuns and priests included).

But there was a difference….

There was no bloodshed; there were no incarcerations; it all ended peacefully with the departure of Marcos and the return of democracy.

I am now a horrified observer of the goings-on in Burma through international TV stations and wonder what happened to all the monks we initially saw. Why are the streets and temples empty of them? How true is it that there are round-ups every night of citizens?

Being a member of ASEAN, the Philippines can do something to right the wrongs their member-country is foisting on its own citizenry. The international community has began taking active steps as well.

As a citizen who loves freedom, democracy and human rights, what can you do? Here are some ways you can help:

Continue reading “Free Burma”

Hi Mom! I’m in the Other Room! LOL!

I came across this article at ABS-CBN News Online’s site:

Shock! Teenagers and parents are talking: report

Reuters

LONDON – The family meal may be threatened with extinction but “High-Tech” parents are now communicating much better with their teenagers and giving them more freedom, says child psychologist Richard Woolfson.

Long gone are the days when parents were much more dictatorial and children were to be seen, not heard.

“The consultation, negotiation and mutual respect that goes on between parents and teenagers in families today would probably shock the mums and dads of 50 years ago,” Woolfson said in a study of how family communication has evolved.

Sitting round the table together for a meal was once the bedrock of family life. It is now becoming a thing of the past but Woolfson stressed that was not the end of the world.

“Now we have today’s high-tech family where family communication takes place by email, internet, webcam and mobile phone as well as face-to-face of course,” he said.

That has another beneficial side-effect, Woolfson said in his survey for the T-Mobile phone company.

Parents are now able to contact their kids much more easily and children have become more confident and communicative.

“This means that parents are less worried about their children’s safety because they feel reassured,” Woolfson said.

And the generation gap is not suffering.

“Even grandma and grandpa have entered the world of cyber space to keep close contact with their children and grandchildren, all of which can only be good news for everyone,” Woolfson concluded.

Timely enough that this article came out because I was indeed thinking about this just recently.

The advent of technology has indeed changed somewhat the way my kids and I communicate. Ours is a wi-fi home. Anywhere in the house, one has internet access. And when home, my kids are almost always on the internet — playing games, emailing, YM-ing their friends or doing homework.

When I leave for work, I often sign on to Yahoo Messenger’s SMS service and when I get to work, sign onto my email with chat enabled.

It’s been really convenient and gives me peace of mind since I know I can almost always reach my kids. I can tell the moment M1 and M2 are home as their chat status changes to ONLINE. These are times when I can connect with them by saying hi and asking how their day went. Of course, it is also their chance to tell me things such as “Mom, I need a 1/4 illustration board by tomorrow. Can you buy on the way home?” Sometimes, I have to arbitrate an argument online. Once, i got chat messages that went like this.

C2 (YM-ing me): Mom, Achi …..(went on to describe her argument with sister)

C1 (YM-ing from another computer): Mom, don’t listen to C2…(and goes on to narrate her side)

I am glad for technology since it brings me closer to them, in a sense, as I connect with them the way they are used to communicating. Kids nowadays feel more comfortable with computers than we ever were. No wonder despite there being a landline in the house, they almost never choose to use this, thanks to internet chatting and webcams. But, wary of dangers on the net too, one thing I do is make sure their computers are located in very visible areas. And that means (house rule) — NO LOCKING OF DOORS! There are other house rules related to safety on the internet which I have discussed with them but somehow we have to find a balance now that most people discuss their lives on social networking sites like Facebook, Friendster or MySpace.

Reminds me of one time when I was working in my room, waiting for C1 to come home from school. Knowing that she sometimes surfs the internet even while in the car (using wi-fi hotspots), I decided to check and true enough she was online. So, I sent off a YM to her asking where she was and she promptly replied:

“Hi, Mom! I’m in the other room! LOL!”

How does technology help you connect with your own kids? Do you have any qualms about it? Let me know!

Theory: Does a Balanced, Married Life = Longer, Healthy Life?

This article was my next post but somehow, it got stuck in my inbox for weeks due to work at the office. Today, I finally resolved to get it out and into print.

I found an interesting article in the Inquirer by Cory Quirino. Below is an excerpt from that article:

Age is a result of who you are
By Cory Quirino
Inquirer
09/03/2007

People who survive longest are those who have found balance in several aspects of their lives.
Psychiatrist George Vaillant (Harvard) says the best adapted to their psychological life live longer. This situation is characterized by:

1. Stability in family life
2. Satisfying marriage
3. Hardly living alone
4. Continued growth in career
5. Absence of disabling mental illness
6. Not an alcoholic
7. Few chronic illnesses

Hmmmm…interesting! And I always thought that married people lived shorter lives due to the very hectic schedules of work, children, in-laws, etc.

But doing a little googling, I came across another article that reinforces this one. Carla Garnett wrote a piece on Dr. Linda Waite, professor of sociology and director of the Center on Aging at the University of Chicago, who claims that people who marry live longer and healthier than people who don’t.

Dr. Linda Waite

Dr. Linda Waite (photo courtesy of The National Institutes of Health)

“Marriage affects health,” she asserted. “Being married, staying married, being part of a married couple changes people’s choices. It changes their behaviors and that changes people’s outcomes — particularly their health outcomes.”

Garnett, in her article, continues,

To link marriage to health, Waite used a large national data set to follow the probability of survival for more than 6,000 adults ages 43 to 65 throughout an 18-year period. The results indicated that many more married women and married men were still alive at age 65; far fewer people who never married, people who divorced, and widowers survived to that age. Widows seemed to retain some of the marriage benefit, with survival rates only slightly lower than those of still-married women. The data indicated that any category of unmarried — never married, separate/divorced or widowed — is unhealthy for men.

She goes on to say (words in parentheses are mine):

Next, she (Waite) explored the family unit and its importance to health. “Family members,” she explained, “bring resources with them into the home” via various support mechanisms: social — “a shoulder to lean on”; instrumental — someone to take out the trash or wash the dishes; and financial — additional household income.

By the same token, family members bring demands: the need for physical care, emotional and financial support, and the inevitable conflict/criticism.

“These family constellations differ in the level of demands relative to the level of resources,” Waite explained. “Too many demands and not enough resources leads to stress. In fact that is the definition of stress. Stress diminishes health directly and it may diminish health by affecting healthy behaviors. Generally, more adults in the household mean more resources; more children mean more demands.”

In study results that will surely boot more live-in in-laws from the family home to less intimate environs, Waite found that even the composition of the household makes a difference to health….

The verdict? Married people who live only with their spouse or with their own children reported the best physical health, while other family configurations — singles living with others, married couples living with parents, or single parents — all reported significantly lower health.

Dr. Waite’s study showed that it is the disruptions that cause further stress and are damaging to one’s health. So between a continuously married person and one who was divorced and remarried, the former seemed to have a better chance at a longer life.

It also showed that continuously married people and never-married individuals had the health advantage. However, Dr. Waite also said that married couples differ from single people in several key measures, including exposure to stress, severity of stress and access to restorative behaviors after stress.

Garnett’s article points out (emphasis is mine):

One conclusion that could be drawn, Waite said, is that it is the permanence and stability provided only by marriage that provides the health dividend. Perhaps people bound by public vows and legal contract are less apt to take risks with their health, less prone to unhealthy behaviors, she surmised. Perhaps husbands and wives fret less about life’s burdens, since they know such cares will be borne and shared by two.

“Married people can specialize,” she concluded. “Two working together can produce more and then trade with each other. They get the advantage of economies of scale. Two can live as cheaply as 1.65, according to recent estimates. Married people also share risks. They form a little insurance pool. And, finally, marriage provides people with social connections, which we know are health-protecting.”

These 2 articles give me a new and fresh perspective on marriage and health. Are they conclusive? Well…if I am to go by the fact that my parents-in-law will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary this December, there must be some truth to all these.

What do you think?

A Thief in the Night

A good friend, a good mother and wife, staunchly protective of her family especially her sons, active in school, always willing to lend a helping hand…..

But the other day, I was enroute to work when a text message came in. Lucy had passed away in her sleep. Just like that. No forewarning, no illness. Nothing that foreshadowed her fate.

Our 2 boys both attended the China program of their school two years ago. My son then was a couch potato; so was hers. So during the boys’ free time in Xiamen, when most of the boys were out playing soccer or basketball, M1 took a stroll around the beautiful lake of Xiamen University….and bumped into Lucy’s son, likewise taking a stroll. There started a wonderful friendship between these 2 boys.

On their return to Manila, our sons continued to keep in touch and there were several Saturdays when M1 spent the day at their home with other friends, just bonding. Lucy, of course, was always there to see to the boys’ needs. And when it came time to get M1, she never hesitated to invite me in, making sure a glass of juice was served. That was typical Lucy.

It is so surreal that we will no longer meet. Just last week, we said Hi to each other as we hurried from classroom to classroom during parent-teacher conference day. Some of the other parents had their own stories to tell. One had just spoken with Lucy the night before she died; others had plans to meet up with her the next day for a game of badminton.

I now suddenly feel the fragility of life. One can be so vibrantly alive one day and lifeless the next. While it is good to plan ahead and plan well, it is better to always remember to live THE PRESENT as fully as one can.

Lucy’s passing has once more reminded me NOT to put off till tomorrow —

– saying “I love you” to the people I deeply care for;

– hugging my kids and telling them how much they mean to me;

– telling hubby how much appreciated he is for caring for our family;

– doing a good deed for someone in need;

– spreading cheer at work and at home;

– talking to the Lord and thanking Him for every breath I take during the day.

Lucy, you will be sorely missed. Most of all by your family whom you loved so much and who love you so much too. But also by your parent friends like us who have been with you these past years through all our school activities. Rest well, Lucy, in the arms of our Lord. Our paths will cross again someday and it will be in a much, much happier place.

Too Young to Die

Our daughter C1 came up to me last night and asked, “Mom, what is WRONG with our batch?”

Last night, they got the news that a boy, just in Manila for a short vacation from studies in the USA (and her date/good friend at Sophomore Night some years back) passed away. They had just met up 2 weeks ago upon his return; they YM each other across the miles. It is not just that he died so young, or that his death was unexpected. But since the start of this school year, this was already the 4th death — SAME BATCH, SAME SCHOOL!

At the start of school, a tragic fire ended the life of a boy from batch 2006 which included his mother and younger brother. Another boy died when robbers entered their home and shot him. The last death was that of another of their batch who was coming home with friends from Libis. A taxi came out from nowhere, causing their vehicle to turn turtle and he was the only one who perished. Now this.

At this age, my daughter has been exposed to death with her grandfather’s (my Dad) passing away. But to have to deal with the deaths of young people she knew is something else and I personally do not know what kind of coping is necessary when this happens. On top of that are the statistical odds of these deaths happening to just one batch of boys from the same school. C1 was beginning to think it had something to do with their batch being born in the year of the dragon (that is her Chinese mind working….).

I am open to suggestions. If you were in my shoes, how would you support your daughter who grieves for a young friend and whose only outlet for it so far is pouring her heart out in her writings?

6.5 Quake in Mindanao Brings Brief Deja Vu

Hubby was listening to CNN tonight when suddenly the news came on. The Southern Philippines was hit by a 6.5 intensity quake. I was online so I immediately went to the sites of CNN, ABS-CBN, GMANews and Inquirer. Nothing. I opened the radio and tuned in. Nothing. It seems the news was just so raw that it was still taking time to hit the news wires.

I first texted a Jesuit priest friend who was from Mindanao, Next, I remembered Cathy, my blogger friend, whose family I knew was from Mindanao. My Mom’s side still has family in Davao City too.

Hoping against hope that Cathy was online, I logged on to my email client. Thank goodness she was! For the next several minutes, we both IM’d each other and scoured the internet looking for any news at all. I saw a news bit on the Post Chronicle while she, with her wide news resources, pointed me to the U.S. Geological Service (USGS) website. The first local paper to pick up the news several minutes later was the Inquirer.

 

Being the journalist that Cathy is, she instinctively thought of blogging about this breaking news.

For me, the news brought back a wave of deja vu as I recalled the July 16, 1990 earthquake that hit Manila. We only had our 2 daughters then and they were just 2 and 3 years old. My boss asked me to go to the 15th floor of the then PDCP Bldg (that is the building now beside the SGV Bldg on Ayala Ave.) as some people had IT questions that needed to be resolved.

I was not even there half an hour when the whole building began shaking. First sideways, then up and down, violently. The floor’s security guard was already praying aloud. Power was cut off and we were in absolute darkness. After the shaking, I opened the emergency exit but the stairs were along the side of the building and I was afraid that if an aftershock came, we could get injured making our way down that way.

We ended up inching our way down the building’s stairwell, meeting other scared people along the way, till we got back down to tierra firma.

My husband, thankfully, was in the same building, attending a meeting. We found each other and immediately went home. We met so many people walking in a daze throughout the streets of Makati and elsewhere. It was with a thankful heart that we got home to find our 2 girls safe with their nannies.

Days later, the damage that this earthquake wrought became clearer as we heard of some Baguio buildings coming down, including the Hyatt Terraces Hotel where we had gone for our honeymoon. Many other places in Luzon were damaged likewise. It was a never-to-be-forgotten quake.

Cathy and I closed our chat by agreeing to pray for the safety of all those affected in Mindanao. But as she reminded me, this is already nature calling out for us to take immediate, active steps towards protecting Mother Nature and preventing anymore of the greenhouse effect. Indeed, no one should fail to watch “The Inconvenient Truth” of Al Gore. We only have one planet and it’s time to save it.

(photo courtesy of USGS)