Life Archives - Page 4 of 14

April 14, 2009September 29, 2013

Stress Can Age You

If stress does not kill you, it will at least age you.

Here’s a quick question. If you were to ask your friends (who obviously do not know your real age) how old you are, what do you think would their guess be. Would they think you are older or younger than your chronological age?

I just concluded a project with a company that had very high levels of stress. Although I promised myself that by going back to corporate work I would not let go of my yoga classes, I found myself missing first one class, then two, and before I knew it, I was going months without a yoga practice to speak of. Without my knowing it, I became too absorbed in work and its toxic effects. When I settled back into home life in January of this year, I got sick – TWICE. I think my body, running on adrenalin for the longest time, suddenly felt the letdown of all those months and broke down.

A few months into a home-based life again, I find myself able to resume yoga, be with my kids more (esp. now that it’s summer) and attend blogging events which are far, far from stress. Ever since I ventured into yoga, I have gotten comments from people I bump into and who knew me from decades ago when I was an upcoming corporate executive well-entrenched in the rat race, that I look younger now than I did then. I call yoga my age-regressing stress management treatment.

A finding that was presented at the 114th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that “age may be more related to reactions to stress and the absence of disease rather than to a person’s chronological age…“ Chronic stress, the kind that drags on rather than being just a momentary crisis, can drastically affect hormonal levels and shift the body’s hormonal balance.

Researcher Elissa Epel of the University of California, San Francisco, says it is likely that the imbalance in the hormones is responsible for many of the psychiatric and medical diseases associated with aging. Epel also said that chronically elevated cortisol reduces lean mass, bone density and shifts fat distributions that can precede the onset of many age-related diseases like osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s disease and major depression.

An article “Chronic Stress May Make You Age Faster” states that older adults often face chronic stress in the form of social isolation, bereavement, financial stress and caregiving. However, not all adults handle chronic stress the same way. Those able to take such stressors in stride often look younger than more stressed adults their age.

But there is good news: a healthy lifestyle and exercise can modify some of the hormonal effects that seem to accelerate aging. The article gave out some stress management techniques which I used as a benchmark against how I was doing in these areas:

* moderate exercise (reason why I am into yoga!)

* adequate sleep (this is still an area I need a lot of work on)

* being able to manage one’s goals and expectations (a trial and error situation till now but I am continuing to learn)

* accepting that one cannot always control things (yes, I used to be a control freak; I am learning to let go more often…)

* finding meaning in life (the raison d’etre for this blog)

* strengthening social ties (one of the major reasons why I am into blogging. I draw life from being around young bloggers)

* having spiritual or religious beliefs (being part of a prayer community for many years has given me a link to the Divine that I call on under stressful situations)

Are the effects of aging stress reversible?

If I go by my own personal experience, the answer is a resounding and reassuring YES!!!

Go ahead. Take the age test. Go ask a friend how old he/she thinks you are. Do not be upset by the answer if it was not what you expected. Take their answer as a chance to honestly look at yourself in the mirror and see how the stress you are subject to is affecting how you look. Identify those stressors and see what stress management techniques you can apply to start you off on the road to reversing its aging effects.

Do something NOW, while your body has not yet fallen into the disease traps set by stress. This is your gift not only to your loved ones, but most especially, a gift to YOURSELF!

April 12, 2009

Reasons and Seasons

img_4239-medres

This is an old email making its rounds up to now. I decided to post this here because its words hold a lot of meaning for me these days. I have had the chance to reflect on how people come into your life, make an impact, then go. Many times, you see the blessings in the presence of these people. At other times, the experience is painful and unexplainable. This Lent, I have been reminded of one thing — to trust in God’s Divine Wisdom. Everything in our lives happens for a reason.

I want this poem to constantly remind me of this so that when I lose people who come into my life, I would be reminded to turn to Him who will never leave me.

A Reason, A Season, a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people any way; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

March 31, 2009

Tales of Busy Bee Me

Taxes, Taxes, Taxes

It’s that time of the year when taxes fall due.

Since my Dad passed away in 2001, I have taken the cudgels for settling the yearly real estate taxes for some of his properties, including one belonging to my uncle (his younger brother). We normally pay the entire year’s taxes in order to avail of the discounts. What was supposed to have been the usual round of tax payments turned out a bit different this year. I was told at the Pasig Municipal Hall that I now had to go all the way to Antipolo to pay the taxes. So tomorrow, the last day of March, I head out for Antipolo to do my citizen’s duty.

In a few weeks more, income taxes fall due. Even now, hubby is busy attending to his clients’ financial statements and audits. I do not need an alarm clock to wake me up. By 8:30 or thereabouts every morning, his mobile starts ringing or the telephone in our bedroom does. And sometimes, it is the client wanting to fax the financial statements for his review. I am steeling myself for the amount that will need to be paid in addition to what has already been withheld. Crunch time…

* * * * *

When It Rains, It Pours (literally!)

It was another one of those Murphy’s Law stuff.

Hubby had purchased roof tiles to replace our old, galvanized iron roof. The carpenters were waiting for a truly dry spell to start and a few weeks back, they thought it was a good time as any to do so. On the first day they set out to tear open the galvanized sheets, the skies began getting dark. They spread a tarp over the exposed roof part but not well enough. That night, the rains fell really hard, water slid to the part of the tarp that had a hole, ran into the open roof area, and before we knew it, it was raining INSIDE our bedroom!

Thankfully, the downpour was on a part of the room that did not have much furniture so we had time to move stuff out of the way before they got real wet. The leaks came about an inch close to my side of the bed and missed me — just barely! Some wooden parts of our bedroom ceiling warped terribly and had to be changed. I still see other parts beginning to warp and guess these will need to be replaced too. *sigh*

The blessing in all this though was that the water came to our side of the room. Had it gone the OTHER way, there would have been a lot more damage because in that room were the computers. M1’s iMac and our brand new printer/scanner would have suffered the greatest water damage.

* * * * *

School’s Out!

All the kids are home most days. It’s summertime!

But with so much time on their hands, you get the intermittent “I am bored, Mom!” comment.

Years ago, I would get stressed finding things or trips to entertain them. After a while, I gave up and told them I was not their entertainer and they had to find things to do. Summer sports or arts programs were the in thing then so I enrolled them in swimming, cooking, chess and whatever they fancied. Now that they’re a lot older, they thankfully leave me alone most days as they play computer or video games amongst themselves.

However, with M1 entering his last year in high school, one of the things we had to do very quickly was find a good review center for him to prepare more for the coming college entrance tests. I took him to review centers close to home and though he initially was reluctant to review at all (one of his good friends kept saying he did not need to — a view I took exception to), he finally agreed to enrolling in one review center. It turned out to be the same review center the 2 girls went to before. I knew the Directress of the review center and actually liked them for their low student-to-teacher ratio as well as their 95+% record for gaining entrance into the top 3 schools (UP, ADMU and DLSU).

Realizing however that summer is the only time I can truly bond for longer periods with my kids, I have taken them to blogger events that cropped up in the past weeks since they are all bloggers anyways. And I am planning some educational and fun trips around the metropolis also for them in the next few weeks. They are growing up so fast that I feel I need to do these things with them now before they totally outgrow me!

* * * * *

March 6, 2009

Goodbye Francis M!

No words today. Just deep, deep sadness for the passing of a wonderful soul. Someone who crossed generations with his rap songs — the ultimate Pinoy rapper. An optimist in the midst of his cancer. God-loving. FRANCIS “KIKO” MAGALONA…

Kiko, I thought you finally won over the big C but God had a different purpose for you. Today, we lost a good man in you. We will miss you, Francis. You endeared yourself to my generation as well as to my kids.

I found these YouTube videos of his last interview on StarTalk GMA last Oct. 25, 2008 and his performance at Eat Bulaga with Ely Buendia on the same day (thanks to DCRJPinoyBiscuits03). One of the things Kiko kept saying in both shows was: “I am home” (referring to his return to GMA). But now you are TRULY HOME, Kiko!

Here is a clip of Francis M doing Reach for the Stars (thanks to avidllongoren)

February 28, 2009

A Tribute to Amiel Alcantara — Ateneo’s Angel

A statue in the Ateneo Grade School grounds that aptly represented Amiel — A statue in the Ateneo Grade School grounds that aptly represents Amiel

Today, Amiel Alcantara was laid to rest. I was unable to attend. Last night, my sore throat came back for the second time and my nose was congested. But I am glad that I was able to visit — yesterday.

I was not feeling that well yesterday either. My energy felt sapped. But there was an inner compulsion in me to go and visit Amiel Alcantara’s wake in Ateneo before he was laid to rest and to finally meet the little boy that occupied my thoughts ever since I heard about his accidental death in Ateneo.

Dine and one of my 2 girls who study in Ateneo, were with me. We were actually wondering where Amiel died because I only had the GMA News simulation to imagine where it was. As we approached the entrance to the grade school, just off the gym and Henry Lee Irwin Theatre, we saw a spot blocked off by metal barriers, filled with flowers and surrounded by candles. It was right smack where the kids were being picked up, very close to the gate that led to the Grade School. I began imagining just how many yayas, drivers and kids saw everything happen. It must have been so traumatic, so terrible, especially for the young ones!

As soon as we entered the GS chapel, we knew just how well-loved Amiel was. The place was packed to overflowing. His teachers were there and so were his classmates and school friends. Most of the adults were in black (a sign of deep mourning and regret for a young life lost) while his batchmates were still in their PE uniforms.

We prayed briefly before Amiel’s coffin, then met his dad Pepe — a soft-spoken man. When Dine asked what that day was like for him, he recounted how it was just an ordinary day when he saw his kids off to school. But there was one striking detail about that day, he said. The car bearing his kids had began to move off already when it stopped. The door opened and out came Amiel running back to hug him. He said his thoughts were: What does this kid want from me? You know how kids are — when they want something from you, he told us. But Amiel just wanted to give him a hug since he forgot to do so.

Shortly after, the 6pm Mass began with Fr. Ben Nebres as the main celebrant and 3 other co-celebrant Jesuits. Dine and I were asked to stay in the first pew, just opposite the pew where the Alcantara family was. It was a blessing. We were able to listen intently to Fr. Ben’s homily as well as the sharings of his family and best friend, Vince.

A glimpse of the Alcantara family, including Yaya Tata (in wheelchair) who was injured trying to save the kids

Near us were some of Amiel’s classmates from 4-Manobo. I spoke with them during a lull after Mass and asked them what they remembered doing with Amiel that day that serves as their best memory. Typical of 10-year old boys, one boy chirped up, “RECESS!!!!”

img_5334-medres — Just some of Amiel's classmates

Their stories showed just how loving Amiel was. Fr. Ben recounted a time when Amiel spent 3 hours looking for a teacher so he could get back a friend’s soccer ball. His aunt, a dentist, recalls how Amiel (described as more mature than his age) called her the day before to set a dental appointment. She had asked him if he would go out since that Monday was a holiday and he responded no because “I like to BE home!” Was this comment a purview of things to come? I don’t know — but what really gave me goose pimples was his aunt’s comment that whenever she would text and type Amiel’s name using predictive texting, what would come out was “ANGEL”. Yes, Amiel, you are now an angel and you are truly HOME!

I briefly hugged Amiel’s mom, Niann. There were just too many visitors coming to her. Too bad because I found out later that evening that she was a childhood friend of my good friend and kumare, Aly.

I’d like to end with this video lovingly prepared to show the boy who loved and was loved. Amiel’s uncle told us that he had wanted to add another thing a classmate had written: “You are now so popular. Even Boy Abunda sent you flowers!”

My hands were a bit shaky while holding my camera so I will replace this once Amiel’s family posts the original video. Meanwhile, take a look at the life of a blue angel…

Rest in the arms of our Lord, Amiel. You are now a totally whole, healed person in your eternal Home. Watch over your loved ones who will continue to miss you. Ask our Father to grant them peace, comfort and healing knowing you are safe with Him.

UPDATE (March 16, 2009)

Dr. Martin Moreno, Amiel’s uncle, sent me a text today with good news. Yaya Tata will be discharged tomorrow, March 17, before noon, after a successful debridement operation, saving her left leg from amputation. Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful news!

February 26, 2009

A Tragic Accident in Ateneo (An Update-Feb. 26)

Today (Feb. 26) I read an update on what really happened to Amiel from the blogs of Cathy and Noemi, both co-founders of The Compassionate Friends (Philippines) — a grief support group for those who lose a child . Cathy and Noemi are parents who had to deal with their sons’ sudden deaths. The Philippine Daily Inquirer also has accounts HERE and HERE. GMANews carries a 3D simulation HERE.

The details in Cathy’s blog sent shivers up my spine. Here is part of Cathy’s account:

My husband and I have just returned from his wake and I am shocked, stunned and restless over the circumstances surrounding his death. The Alcantara’s actually almost lost three children, and not just one.

Amiel, his 65-year old Yaya Tata (who has been with the family for 40 plus years), his 7 year old sister, and 13 year old brother Javi, together with the driver, were already so close to their car when the CRV driven by Teresa Torres, careened from behind and hit Amiel. Yaya Tata was able to push the youngest one and the elder boy out of the way but was too far to get to Amiel. Yaya Tata had herself suffered injuries and fractures and is set to have surgery next week. The most heart-wrenching thing about the whole thing is that it was the Alcantara’s driver and 13 year old Javi who had to extricate Amiel from beneath the van. The impact was so strong that three other vehicles were damaged in the process before the vehicle finally came to a stop. How does a 13 year old young boy cope with the image of seeing his younger brother that way?

It was the driver who took Amiel to the New Era hospital and they were en route to the hospital in another Ateneo parent’s car when Amiel died in his arms. Amiel’s father, Pepe Alcantara, former chair of the UP Student Council in the 1980s, and his mother, Niann, were no longer able to see their youngest son alive. It is a tragedy of such great proportions.

The CRV that careened through the parking lot was around 25 meters away from where the kids were standing. Apparently, for some reasons that remain yet unclear, the driver had stepped heavily on the accelerator because a screeching sound, akin to those that you hear at drag races, was heard by several witnesses before the car sped and hit Amiel.

Our youngest son who will turn 15 in a few days came to me a few weeks back and asked me: “Mom, next year is it possible for yaya not to fetch me anymore? I am big enough to walk home by myself.” Wanting him to learn independence, I had nodded my head and made a note of this for next year. But now, I can’t help but fear not only for him but for our older son who also walks home. No matter how careful they will be in crossing the streets, a careless driver could cause them harm. All parents, I think, are haunted by this possibility.

As the Alcantara family continue to deal now and in the future with this irreplaceable loss, I can only pray for them to find comfort in Our Lord and His Mother (she, who also saw her only son die).

Will I allow my sons to continue walking to school? Maybe. Most likely. But I will likely also step up my prayers over them. One great book I find very comforting during times like this is The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian. Try to get hold of a copy and use it to cover your children with prayers throughout their lives. We can only shelter our kids so much. The rest is up to Him.