The THEN and NOW of Homework

Our daughter C2 posted this on her blog (something she must have picked out from the internet):

A Prayer for Homework

Now I lay me down to study,
I pray the Lord I won’t go nutty.
If I should fail to learn this junk,
I pray the Lord I will not flunk.
But if I do, don’t pity me at all,
Just lay my bones in the school hall.
Tell mr blackwell I did my best,
Then pile my books upon my chest.
Now I lay me down to rest,
And pray I’ll pass tomorrow’s test.
If I should die before I wake,
That’s one less test I’ll have to take!

It’s reflective of just how burned out young teens are today.

I don’t recall that I had to study as hard as they seem to study these days.

I don’t recall working on papers till the sun came up — at least not till graduate school.

I did not become dependent on coffee to keep me going the whole day.

I wonder why they seem to study all the time when I had less tools to help me with back when I was a student like them….

There was nothing to distract me from homework other than TV and maybe, the phone.

Now, they surf the net, YM their friends, Ipod headphones in their ears, and study (all at the same time!!!!

I did research with index cards, typed on a manual typewriter with several layers of carbon paper. One mistake and it meant re-typing the whole thing all over. The library was my haunt. Encyclopedias were a MUST!

All they have to avoid these days is plagiarism. The encyclopedia collection I scrimped and saved to buy? HARDLY OPENED!!!! They cannot imagine a life without word processing. Almost everything else can now be researched from home or on the road via wi-fi on their laptops. (info at their fingertips!)

I had REVIEW WEEK.

They call it now HELL WEEK (and from the looks of C1’s 7-days-a-week-in-school lately, you can change that to HELL MONTH!).

They should be having it easier with all these technology available to them…..and yet it doesn’t look like it’s any easier now than it was for me back then.

Sometimes, I wish I could take on some of their burden and study for them. But I just have to be around, listen to them rant about the list of projects they have to do, and just be a listening ear.

One good thing about all these is that they have strong, friendship bonds in school. And when they cram, they cram together. Hindi sila nag-iisa! And the beauty of technology nowadays is that they never feel alone even when they’re the only ones at home still up and studying during the wee hours of the morning since their kadas (their lingo for ‘barkada’) are similarly still awake and…. just a YM away.

What’s your experience with your kids?

 

 

 

Theory: Does a Balanced, Married Life = Longer, Healthy Life?

This article was my next post but somehow, it got stuck in my inbox for weeks due to work at the office. Today, I finally resolved to get it out and into print.

I found an interesting article in the Inquirer by Cory Quirino. Below is an excerpt from that article:

Age is a result of who you are
By Cory Quirino
Inquirer
09/03/2007

People who survive longest are those who have found balance in several aspects of their lives.
Psychiatrist George Vaillant (Harvard) says the best adapted to their psychological life live longer. This situation is characterized by:

1. Stability in family life
2. Satisfying marriage
3. Hardly living alone
4. Continued growth in career
5. Absence of disabling mental illness
6. Not an alcoholic
7. Few chronic illnesses

Hmmmm…interesting! And I always thought that married people lived shorter lives due to the very hectic schedules of work, children, in-laws, etc.

But doing a little googling, I came across another article that reinforces this one. Carla Garnett wrote a piece on Dr. Linda Waite, professor of sociology and director of the Center on Aging at the University of Chicago, who claims that people who marry live longer and healthier than people who don’t.

Dr. Linda Waite

Dr. Linda Waite (photo courtesy of The National Institutes of Health)

“Marriage affects health,” she asserted. “Being married, staying married, being part of a married couple changes people’s choices. It changes their behaviors and that changes people’s outcomes — particularly their health outcomes.”

Garnett, in her article, continues,

To link marriage to health, Waite used a large national data set to follow the probability of survival for more than 6,000 adults ages 43 to 65 throughout an 18-year period. The results indicated that many more married women and married men were still alive at age 65; far fewer people who never married, people who divorced, and widowers survived to that age. Widows seemed to retain some of the marriage benefit, with survival rates only slightly lower than those of still-married women. The data indicated that any category of unmarried — never married, separate/divorced or widowed — is unhealthy for men.

She goes on to say (words in parentheses are mine):

Next, she (Waite) explored the family unit and its importance to health. “Family members,” she explained, “bring resources with them into the home” via various support mechanisms: social — “a shoulder to lean on”; instrumental — someone to take out the trash or wash the dishes; and financial — additional household income.

By the same token, family members bring demands: the need for physical care, emotional and financial support, and the inevitable conflict/criticism.

“These family constellations differ in the level of demands relative to the level of resources,” Waite explained. “Too many demands and not enough resources leads to stress. In fact that is the definition of stress. Stress diminishes health directly and it may diminish health by affecting healthy behaviors. Generally, more adults in the household mean more resources; more children mean more demands.”

In study results that will surely boot more live-in in-laws from the family home to less intimate environs, Waite found that even the composition of the household makes a difference to health….

The verdict? Married people who live only with their spouse or with their own children reported the best physical health, while other family configurations — singles living with others, married couples living with parents, or single parents — all reported significantly lower health.

Dr. Waite’s study showed that it is the disruptions that cause further stress and are damaging to one’s health. So between a continuously married person and one who was divorced and remarried, the former seemed to have a better chance at a longer life.

It also showed that continuously married people and never-married individuals had the health advantage. However, Dr. Waite also said that married couples differ from single people in several key measures, including exposure to stress, severity of stress and access to restorative behaviors after stress.

Garnett’s article points out (emphasis is mine):

One conclusion that could be drawn, Waite said, is that it is the permanence and stability provided only by marriage that provides the health dividend. Perhaps people bound by public vows and legal contract are less apt to take risks with their health, less prone to unhealthy behaviors, she surmised. Perhaps husbands and wives fret less about life’s burdens, since they know such cares will be borne and shared by two.

“Married people can specialize,” she concluded. “Two working together can produce more and then trade with each other. They get the advantage of economies of scale. Two can live as cheaply as 1.65, according to recent estimates. Married people also share risks. They form a little insurance pool. And, finally, marriage provides people with social connections, which we know are health-protecting.”

These 2 articles give me a new and fresh perspective on marriage and health. Are they conclusive? Well…if I am to go by the fact that my parents-in-law will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary this December, there must be some truth to all these.

What do you think?

A Thief in the Night

A good friend, a good mother and wife, staunchly protective of her family especially her sons, active in school, always willing to lend a helping hand…..

But the other day, I was enroute to work when a text message came in. Lucy had passed away in her sleep. Just like that. No forewarning, no illness. Nothing that foreshadowed her fate.

Our 2 boys both attended the China program of their school two years ago. My son then was a couch potato; so was hers. So during the boys’ free time in Xiamen, when most of the boys were out playing soccer or basketball, M1 took a stroll around the beautiful lake of Xiamen University….and bumped into Lucy’s son, likewise taking a stroll. There started a wonderful friendship between these 2 boys.

On their return to Manila, our sons continued to keep in touch and there were several Saturdays when M1 spent the day at their home with other friends, just bonding. Lucy, of course, was always there to see to the boys’ needs. And when it came time to get M1, she never hesitated to invite me in, making sure a glass of juice was served. That was typical Lucy.

It is so surreal that we will no longer meet. Just last week, we said Hi to each other as we hurried from classroom to classroom during parent-teacher conference day. Some of the other parents had their own stories to tell. One had just spoken with Lucy the night before she died; others had plans to meet up with her the next day for a game of badminton.

I now suddenly feel the fragility of life. One can be so vibrantly alive one day and lifeless the next. While it is good to plan ahead and plan well, it is better to always remember to live THE PRESENT as fully as one can.

Lucy’s passing has once more reminded me NOT to put off till tomorrow —

– saying “I love you” to the people I deeply care for;

– hugging my kids and telling them how much they mean to me;

– telling hubby how much appreciated he is for caring for our family;

– doing a good deed for someone in need;

– spreading cheer at work and at home;

– talking to the Lord and thanking Him for every breath I take during the day.

Lucy, you will be sorely missed. Most of all by your family whom you loved so much and who love you so much too. But also by your parent friends like us who have been with you these past years through all our school activities. Rest well, Lucy, in the arms of our Lord. Our paths will cross again someday and it will be in a much, much happier place.

Parenting Plugs

Pardon me if I insert these 2 plugs related to parenting but they are TIMELY and FREE.

INVITATION TO A

PARENT DEVELOPMENT SEMINAR :

 

What is God’s purpose for my family?

How do we create a Family Mission Statement?

How do we experience family unity?

How do I create a pastoral plan so we can achieve our goals as individuals and as a family?

 

Invest your time in coming to this seminar and learn more abou how you can be a purpose-driven family that lives to worship God, grow more in His character and likeness (discipleship), be united

in fellowship, be of service and

minister to others.

 

Cradle of JOY Center for Learning and

Sacred Heart Parish Family Life Ministry

invite you to …

 

 

“A PURPOSE-DRIVEN

FAMILY”

 

September 29, 2007 (Saturday)

9:00 am – 12 noon

(Registration : Starts at 8:30 am)

 

Sacred Heart Parish, Janssen Hall

(Scout Ybardolaza St., Kamuning, Q.C.)

 

Speakers : Jun and Marion

Cruz

 

FREE – No Seminar Fee!!!

(Merienda to be served)

 

If interested, please call :

 

921-0602/ 410-0066

 

for reservations. Limited slots only!

 

You may invite family and friends!

 

 

*******************************************************

 

INVITATION TO A FREE

YAYA TRAINING SEMINAR :

 

Would you like a yaya

who would love your child the way

s/he needs to be loved?

 

Well, here’s a seminar just for yaya so that she can grow to know more about herself as a caregiver using the 5 Love Languages and learn to love and discipline your child according to the 5 Love Languages of : Touch, Service, Quality Time, Gifts and Words.

Cradle of JOY

 

Center for Learning
invites your child’s caregiver to …

 

 

 

“Disciplining

 

 

using the

 

 

5 Love Languages”

 

September 15, 2007 (Saturday)

 

9:00 am – 12 noon

(Registration : Starts at 8:30 am)

 

 

Cradle of JOY Center for Learning

 

(14 11th Jamboree Street, Brgy. Sacred Heart,

Kamuning, Quezon City)

 

 

Speakers : Ben and Mayette Salvedia

Ang Ligaya ng Panginoon Community

 

 

FREE – No Seminar Fee!!!

 

You may invite yayas of family & friends!

 

 

 

My Type of Guy

My daughter C1 posted this meme on her blog and curious me, I decided to take a peek to see what was HER type of guy. Well, as I scrolled down the page, it got me thinking of who was MY type of guy. I mean, hubby should be it, right? But just out of curiosity, I decided to make up my own answers along the way. So, if you still remember what it was like to dream about your dream guy, take the test as well! And….let me know!

1. Suplado = Hm..this type of guy will attract me at first but after a while, it gets tiring to deal with an inflated ego.

2. Mr. Shades = Yes, definitely racks up points with me.

3. Masculado = Mr. Muscle Man with humongous, rippling muscles? No thanks. Fit and healthy — better.

4. Guys who give flowers = Does not have to always. But it is nice to be remembered this way once in a while. I prefer chocolates though, hahahaha.

5. Smiling face = Now who wants to deal with Mr. Grumpy?

6. Hiphop = “A good dancer” was on my wish list when I was single. This was one of those “unanswered prayers”. Hehehe…..

7. Guys who ask permission before courting = Awww, how sweet. Yes!

8. Has earring/s = No way, Jose! I want to wear the earrings. Not have to compete with Mr. Bling-Bling!

9. Used to chew bubblegum = Nope, this is definitely a turn-off!

10. Long-hair = OK as long as it isn’t longer than mine!

Continue reading “My Type of Guy”

Too Young to Die

Our daughter C1 came up to me last night and asked, “Mom, what is WRONG with our batch?”

Last night, they got the news that a boy, just in Manila for a short vacation from studies in the USA (and her date/good friend at Sophomore Night some years back) passed away. They had just met up 2 weeks ago upon his return; they YM each other across the miles. It is not just that he died so young, or that his death was unexpected. But since the start of this school year, this was already the 4th death — SAME BATCH, SAME SCHOOL!

At the start of school, a tragic fire ended the life of a boy from batch 2006 which included his mother and younger brother. Another boy died when robbers entered their home and shot him. The last death was that of another of their batch who was coming home with friends from Libis. A taxi came out from nowhere, causing their vehicle to turn turtle and he was the only one who perished. Now this.

At this age, my daughter has been exposed to death with her grandfather’s (my Dad) passing away. But to have to deal with the deaths of young people she knew is something else and I personally do not know what kind of coping is necessary when this happens. On top of that are the statistical odds of these deaths happening to just one batch of boys from the same school. C1 was beginning to think it had something to do with their batch being born in the year of the dragon (that is her Chinese mind working….).

I am open to suggestions. If you were in my shoes, how would you support your daughter who grieves for a young friend and whose only outlet for it so far is pouring her heart out in her writings?