CHRISTMAS…or STRESS-mas???

Christmas — school break, cool weather, lazy mornings in bed, gimmicks with friends, presents, family reunions, great food!!!

Yup, I remember those good ole days. Of course, those days were when I was a kid up till the time I got hitched.

From the time the kids started coming one after the other though, Christmas became a very STRESS-filled season. Endless shopping for family (and that now included a whole clan of in-laws), nights finding me on the floor wrapping up the presents and labelling them, discovering I missed out on a few more people so the shopping cycle began again….The kids loved this time of the year; I dreaded it (though, of course, I tried not to show it and made it as fun and pleasant for all).

This year, I resolved to change my view of things.

The shopping will not go away and neither will the nights of wrapping up gifts. But I sure can change how I respond to the situation. Getting all worked up and stressed over the whole thing just caused me angst and about the only thing it did to me was age me a few years more.

So, with some success, I have tackled the art of shopping (without dropping) and actually found myself enjoying it. To celebrate this newfound freedom from stress, I bought a new Christmas tree to change our 15-year old one (and chose the decor myself). And I am refocusing my thoughts on the real spirit behind Christmas. The belen at home was moved to a more prominent spot in the living room to remind the kids (and most of all, ME) that there lay the reason behind our celebrations all these years.

HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

The Price of a Son’s Honesty

Filipino has always been our family’s waterloo. It was always our lowest subject, no matter how much effort we exerted. I hated it; so do my kids.

So year after year, come major exams, I am always on tenterhooks — and during parent-teacher conferences, the Filipino teacher is always on the top of my list of teachers to see.

Our son Ian had been having his share of difficulties in Filipino. More so now that he is a high school freshman. Throughout the 2nd quarter, we got regular reminders from the teacher for him to exert more effort. At the start of the 3rd Quarter last week, their class reviewed their quarterly test papers in Filipino with the teacher. Ian came home that evening crestfallen. He related to us what had happened in class.

He was initially overjoyed to see that he had passed his exam. That joy was short-lived however when, upon adding up his scores, he found out that the teacher had made a mistake in addition. His real grade was 3 points lower than the total score on his paper. And it fell below the passing score. At this point, I could almost imagine the inner struggle in him. It was so easy to just keep mum about the correction since the teacher had already written his grade in her record book. But could he live with his silence?

In the end, Ian went up to his teacher and pointed out her mathematical mistake. He knew that by doing so, he had just gone from a PASS to a FAIL. Not a very uplifting moment, considering that he needed precious points to pull some of his low quizzes up. To top it all, a classmate called him “an idiot” for doing so. That must have been quite a blow for him.

So that evening, as he related the incident to us, we felt the pain and sadness inside him. His sisters tried to console him by telling him he did the right thing. I also tried to tell him the same thing. But a mother’s words are no match for that of a peer who thinks his honesty is idiotic.

As they say, the true test of a person’s character is revealed in the direst of moments and in adversity. A man’s character is tested by what he would do under a situation where he knows HE WON’T GET CAUGHT. Ian was definitely tested in this instance and with much difficulty, I’m sure, he made his decision. At his own expense, he chose to follow his conscience even if it meant failing his Quarterly Test.

Well, to cut the story short, Ian got his report card yesterday. Lo and behold, he PASSED Filipino and actually pulled up his card grade by 5 points from the 1st Quarter!!!! At the parent-teacher conference today, his Fil teacher told me how pleased she was with his honesty, that she could see all the effort he exerted in her class (even memorizing a poem for Linggo ng Wika better than many in the class) and that he really deserved to pass this quarter.

We are so, so proud of Ian for standing on the side of HONESTY and not compromising under pressure.

Son, you make us all proud of you because you have shown us what stuff you are really made of inside when push comes to shove. We hope and pray that by learning to remain honest in small things, you will grow up and stay honest in larger, more crucial situations.

BRACE Yourself for a New Diet Program

What diet program will definitely work since you have NO OPTION but to follow it?
What diet program won’t you wish upon your worst enemy?
What diet program, when finished, actually improves not just your body but your looks as well?

Scrap the South Beach diet, the Atkins diet and whatever ek-ek diet you’re on…..here’s the latest one that worked for me and I had no choice in the matter…..BRACES!!!!!

One vain moment months back, I went to see Lizette, a good friend and very popular orthodontist amongst the members of our community. I wanted her to check out my teeth alignment. Lizette ordered a panoramic x-ray, complete cast of my teeth, and mug shots (left, front, right — making me feel like a criminal being booked!). Upon close analysis by Lizette, it turns out that what I most needed was not just alignment of teeth. She told me I had TMJ (a condition whereby the angle of the jaws is shifting, and could eventually cause migraine and vertigo). I had no choice but to wear braces to correct the TMJ before the pain set in.

Since that fateful day in April 2006 when I began my journey into “Jaws” land (what I now call my mouth filled with these metal contraptions), I have had to undergo 2 molar extractions, and countless mouth sores. On each dental visit, after the tightening of the braces, attachment of even more wires and bands, my diet would consist of anything that can be swallowed without being chewed: mashed potatoes, lugaw, yogurt, milk, ice cream, soft fruits, oatmeal…(I think the only soft food I haven’t tried is Gerber).

My daughter Chrissie told me a couple of times, “Mom, now you know what I went through!” (she wore braces for 2 years and is off it already). Yes, I can now truly empathize with any person who is marked for braces and say, “Hindi ka nag-iisa!!!”

My weight has dropped to between 96 and 98 lbs. Thankfully, yoga has kept my stamina up and vitamins have kept my body resistance high. I am so looking forward to the day these metallic stuff come off. But the brighter side of all these NOW is that for once, I am trying to GAIN, not lose, weight. And it is not such a bad deal.

I eat when I want to, whatever I want to, NO GUILT TRIPS for me!!!!

But caveat before you say this program is for YOU as well. You may have a choice in the matter while I don’t. As I said in the beginning, I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

You want to lose weight? Go take YOGA instead…..

Parols and Nostalgia

We went to pick up our daughter from her friend’s house in Quezon City earlier tonight.

On the way there, we passed by Gilmore St., just after crossing Santolan from Ortigas. For those familiar with this route, every Christmas time, which in Manila begins with the “BER” months, stalls miraculously pop up along both sides of the road and parols of all shapes, sizes, colors and twinkling lights light up the night on this stretch.

As we passed this place tonight, I couldn’t help but stare at the wonderful spectacle of all those parols grouped in long rows along the road. There were Christmas trees, mother-of-pearl star-shaped ones, round parols with religious designs, Santas, reindeer, etc. If not for my tired husband who was in a hurry to pick up our daughter, I so wanted to stop and admire each one of those parols, touch them, see how the lights blink on and off. For some unexplainable reason, the hypnotic effect of the blinking lights had a very therapeutic, calming effect on me as we drove by.

This is the time of year I really love. The Christmas spirit and anticipation of the cool weather about to descend upon Manila; thoughts of family reunions; Chinese ham, fruit cake and noche buena; putting up the Christmas tree & hanging the long stockings of the kids along our landing — oh, so many more traditions that I loved as a child and continue to look forward to, year after year.

And it was tonight’s display of lighted parols that wafted all these memories of Christmases past into my consciousness. I felt a tug of nostalgia knowing that my Dad is no longer around to celebrate with us. But it also made me want to ensure that such Christmases become wonderful memories for my own kids so that when they reach my age, they can look back fondly on these years and continue our warm, family traditions for their own children.

Daddy Ben, Lolo Ben

What memories do you have when the word “Dad” or “Papa” is mentioned?

In my case, it has been 5 years since my Dad passed away in 2001. But this month, as we remember his birthday (Nov. 18), I want to capture my past memories of a Dad who was not the touchy-feely type, but whose love I always felt and will always remember.


– he was the top candidate for “Dad of the Year” Award when I was in SGV. After all, what Dad was willing to stay up till 1AM night after night, killing mosquitoes in the car, while his daughter did her audit work at the client’s office?

– he was a top haggler if I ever saw one. He can really act the part of the disinterested buyer who pretends to walk away until the tindera calls him back and agrees to the price he is asking. He was so good at this, he would even try it out in malls (have you heard of anyone haggling in a mall????), to the embarrassment of the rest of us, hahaha.

– he loved sales and bargains. Once, he came home with several bunches of banana (saba). When we told him these were too much for all of us to consume, he just shrugged and said “kay barato eh (It was cheap, eh)”.

– one of his favorite places was a rocking chair. He’d plop down on it, open the TV, then fall right to sleep in front of the boob tube. But beware the person who tries to save on electricity by turning the TV set off. We tried it several times and he’d wake up insisting we turn it back on “…because I am watching!!!” Guess he had Superman’s X-ray eyes, after all!

– every time I have a chance to watch Ben Hur during the Holy Week, I will never forget Dad. This was his penultimate favorite Holy Week movie. Funny thing is, every time we tried to change channel to see other shows, he’d insist on watching Ben Hur because he claims he had not seen it all yet. We were almost tempted to go looking for the DVD of Ben Hur so he could watch that show a 100 times!

– we took our first transPacific flight together when he took me to the States. We went everywhere — SF, LA, Chicago, Philadelphia, New York. It was a great time for father-daughter bonding. And Dad was so at home with relatives he had not seen for a while. Among strangers, he would adopt a formal face; but with family and close friends, Dad would metamorphose into a “Joker” and crack us all up.

– Dad’s “pulbos” (his version of the Chinese mahu), taught to him by my grandmother, who learned it from her Chinese father, was THE BEST! With all the love, and arm muscles, and sweat (I should add), we’d see him cooking the pork bits himself in a wok, adding Kikkoman a little at a time. The finished product was carefully scooped into several bottles and given out to each of us on special occasions. We’d eat these sparingly, trying to stretch it to the max. I don’t think any other appetizer comes close to “pulbos”, not even calamares or buttered mushrooms.

– he should have been called “The Ultimate OC” (obsessive-compulsive) because everything he kept (medical bills, utility statements, bank accounts, legal documents, letters, etc) was neatly filed away in folders appropriately marked and alphabetically sequenced. He had his own filing cabinet right beside his bed! Now you know whose OC genes I inherited 🙂

– to his 11 other siblings (yes, they were a good dozen…from just 1 mother!) he was Ben or Nong Ben. And what a good Manong he was too. Being the only accountant in the family, he took care of much of the family’s paperwork needed for taxes, property transfers, BIR filings, etc. It was a bane and a boon. We all felt lost when he passed away and it took some time for many of his siblings to take over from where he left off.

Dad, just want to say again that I do miss you — we all do. But you have left us all with wonderful memories of you that we will always treasure. Happy birthday in heaven among the angels. I am sure you are cracking them up there as well.

Life’s Wonderful Surprises and Simple Pleasures

A friend sent this via text today:

Sometimes we put too much passion on the biggest dreams & priorities in life

That we fail to love the smallest pleasures from simple things.

We search so much for the right choices, for the right paths to walk through,

For the right time & for the right reasons.

But life isn’t about searching for the things that can be found.

It is about letting the unexpected happen and

Finding things you never searched for.