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An Ode to Family and Friends

Not many people outside of close family and friends knew that I quietly celebrated my birthday while the whole Philippines was celebrating Ninoy Aquino’s 25th death anniversary.

I am not one to make a big fuss about my birthday, really. In fact, I went to work and no one there was the wiser.

At this stage of my life, I treasure moments shared with people I love. My kids tease me because I take pictures of everthing when we go out — the food, the place, them (I herd them here & there for pics). When you are on your second life (as I call it), it becomes even more important to make memories for your self and for those you love. These pictures will always serve to remind me of these moments as time and age could erase many precious moments from one’s mind as one goes into the senior years.

But quiet though it was, it was nevertheless memorable for me in many ways because I had my family and close friends to celebrate it with.

Some special birthday moments:

* Waking up to a slew of text messages from family and friends greeting me and keeping me replying the whole day

* Sending bday greetings to my boys’ School Director (a Jesuit priest) with whom I share the same birth date (and….getting back his reply with prayers)

* Getting a beautiful birthday card from the kids, my Mom & siblings (and C1 even let her good friends who I have known since their elementary years sign too)

 

* Dinner out with Chona, my yogini friend, who shares the birth month with me and with whom I have had many girl friend moments

 

* Dinner with my family at Gloriamaris (with hubby making a beautiful prayer and wishes for me)

* Getting to talk to my father-inlaw (who never fails to send me a card year after year but could not this year as he is in the hospital) and hearing him greet me over the cellphone

* A surprise birthday greeting via email from someone in the US who played an important part in my second life

* Receiving a beautiful book on grace from a dear friend

 

* Receiving a surprise cake from the people over at Geiser Maclang (thanks guys!)

 

To all of you (my dearest family & friends) I share this haiku I made today:

My full heart beats strong

Every beat a memory of time together

Special corners in my soul.

🙂

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Will You Help Tara Santelices?

I saw this email first on my niece’s Multiply. Then Cathy blogged about it. On both those times, I sort of glossed over the email thinking it was one of those “help someone” calls that I can read some other time. The third time, however, it showed up at a forum I was enrolled in. So curious me read the entire email (when you see something over and over again, there must be a message there somewhere for me!). The story of Tara Santelices hit me so hard that without knowing her, I promised to blog about what happened. All this happened, I hear, because she resisted the holdupper who was trying to take her laptop.

But things do happen for a purpose. There was a connection to her even stronger than just receiving 3 notices. Last night, I learned that her sister Lila is the English blockmate in school of our eldest girl, C1.

Wow! Now I really need to post this.

After you read this and you feel compelled to help in whatever way, act on your feelings. You can forward this story to your email contacts, pass on my URL post to others, or even help the family in any way as described below. Or you could pause from whatever you are doing and say a fervent prayer for Tara. Whatever it is, JUST DO IT!

As a parent myself, I pray that all parents be spared having to undergo this kind of horrible nightmare and that all our kids who travel to and from school and work be given divine protection always. God bless us all.

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Word spreads around fast and almost everyone has already heard about what happened to our dear friend, Tara Santelices (Assumption Antipolo’s Batch 2003 and Ateneo de Manila University’s Class of 2007, AB Political Science).

On the eve of her 23rd birthday, Tara was shot in the head during a hold-up while riding a jeepney along Imelda Avenue, Cainta, Rizal. Joee Mejias, who was with her at that time, rushed her to Amang Rodriguez Memorial Hospital in Marikina City. The parents of Tara and Joee arrived at the hospital shortly thereafter. When morning came, Tara’s parents finally decided to transfer her to the Medical City, Ortigas Avenue, Pasig City. Since 8:00am of August 6, Tara has been in the ICU fighting for her dear life. Her parents have decided not to push through with the operation.

Although it might seem that there is nothing else that we can do but wait for Tara to wake up from this horrific nightmare, we, the friends of Tara, have decided to raise funds for Tara’s hospital bills. This is the least we can do to ease the unbearable pain her family is going through. We have been given the go-signal from Tara’s dad, Tito Larry, and here are the details:

The temporary bank account is under Anne Marie F. Santelices, Banco de Oro, SA 2140-062201. For direct cash donations, please proceed to the ICU Waiting Room of the Medical City (Ortigas Avenue, Pasig City). Please look for Joee Mejias or Lila Santelices.

Any amount will be gratefully accepted. Anonymous donations are also welcome. Please spread the word. Forward this to your family, friends and even to everyone else you know. Please post this on Friendster, Multiply, Facebook and wherever else you can think of. Please send group messages on Yahoo Messenger. This will mean so much to us, her friends.

Please continue praying for Tara, for Joee and for both of their families. If you want to come see Tara, visiting hours at the ICU are at 9:00 am to 11:00 am and 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm.

Thank you so much for your time and kind consideration.

For inquiries, please contact Joee Mejias (09228154987) for calls and Jac Ledonio (09167243071) or Myka Francisco (09163695148) for text messages

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Key to Better Relationships: Know Your Loved Ones’ Primary Love Languages

 

A few years back, I bought the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This came on the heels of a workshop that we attended on this topic where we learned that all of us have one primary love language which is not always the same as that of our loved ones and could be a major cause of conflict or resentment.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s requirements, or even our own. We all have a “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others. Dr. Chapman’s book divides love languages into five categories: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

This got me thinking of my 4 kids and found that they had different love languages.

C1’s is Quality Time. She loves time for us to talk (about anything that concerns her). Sometimes she wants to talk at the wrong time (like midnight sometimes???). Other times, I may not be ready to listen or have something to work on. But knowing this is her love language, I try to spend time talking or our next favorite bonding activity — shopping.

C2’s love language is also Quality Time though to a lesser degree than C1’s. She complains at times that I do not have time to go shopping with her (I work, you see) so I hope to be able to make up for it on some weekends. We have watched movies together already so that’s a good start. She also loves talking with me about things important to her and like C1, I try to relate to what she says.

M1’s is Receiving Gifts. For some reason, he relishes it when we come home from somewhere with something for him. When he was younger, he would always ask when I come home, “What did you get for me?” Now that he is older, his tastes get more expensive (read my lips: gadgets & tech stuff). So it gets challenging to fill this need without me emptying my pockets completely.

M2’s is Physical Touch. This is the kid I can hug and hug and who won’t squirm away from me. And he is the only one who asks (no, demands) that I give him a foot massage to get him to sleep. One day, I think I will bring him along when I have a massage and treat him to a really professional one.

I found this site on the blog of C1’s friend and was curious to find out which was my primary love language. GUESS!

Continue reading “Key to Better Relationships: Know Your Loved Ones’ Primary Love Languages”

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PAMPER-ed for a Morning

My kids grew up on Pampers — mostly. For many, many years, I had held on to this pink, carton Pampers box, which if I remember right, could hold 96 Pampers diapers. Too bad I disposed of the box some time ago in a frenzy of spring cleaning. Maybe it was an inner desire to hang on to their baby years that kept me from throwing away that box but when I did, it must have been my “letting go” and moving on to dealing with them as teens.

I have never forgotten my parenting days with Pampers so it was providential that I was invited to the launch in Glorietta of Pampers Stages and a chance to explore Pampers World (how the world looks from a baby’s eyes).

Jamie Endaya, Country PR Manager of P&G, explained the different features of the diapers. For the New Baby diapers, there is a cottony cover with hypoallergenic lotion and aloe vera extract. For the Active Baby diapers, they use Velcro straps around the waist. And for Easy-Ups diapers, it is made to be put on and off like undies. How different it is now from my time when the only difference in diapers was the size and weight of your kid.

Several doctors from the Pampers Parenting Institute, an international network of experts on babies, their development and health, were around to answer questions and guide us on a tour. We were taken to several “rooms” made for us to experience what it was like to be a baby again.

The first 2 rooms were for newborns. Newborns could only see a few inches from their faces and images are blurry. In one room, they had cubbyholes to allow us to put our hands in and feel different items (spongy, squeaky, soft, rough, etc) that a baby experiences as it touches things.

 

In the second room they took us to, there were 2 giant cribs complete with oversized pillows and mobiles. I lay down in one of them and overhead there was a mirror that distorted images reflecting from the crib to show what a baby actually sees at 3 weeks. It looks like this:

how the crib actually looks
how the baby sees the crib

The rooms for an Active Baby were made to look like you were in giantland. Oversized dining and living rooms! It is important then for parents to be able to imagine what the world looks like from this tiny tot’s perspective so that the home can be made accident-proof. For me, that was a fun place to take pics!

This is how the world looks to a baby
In the oversized dining room
...and in the giant living room

And the last 2 rooms were for the toddlers (Easy-Ups). At this stage, toddlers like to try grown-up stuff: shoes, clothes. And they explore as they realize they can walk.

A baby would look like this in adult shoes while writing with a pencil
That pencil actually has lead!

The whole tour was interesting, to say the least. They have really come far in terms of developing baby diapers.

Buffet lunch was hosted by P&G for the press at Heaven ‘n Eggs nearby. Here we had a chance to meet up with more press people, including Paula of Good Housekeeping magazine, and other P&G people who I enjoyed talking with about the world of blogging. Thanks for the yummy, gastronomic lunch guys!!!

More pics from the event below.

 

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Positive Affirmations for You

This was shared with me by a blogger buddy on a day when I was totally sapped of positive energy. Thanks for sharing, Manuel!

Now it is my turn to share this video with you. May it uplift you whenever you need it. But what is probably a great addition to all the affirmations here is this: God is always a part of, and in control of, my life!

May your life always be beautiful, meaningful and full of love.

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It’s Never Too Early to Be a Gentleman

First off, let me tell any readers with ultra feminist views that this post is NOT for you!

I may be of the old school but I love chivalry and the idea of white knights in shining armor coming to the rescue of their maidens. The few times I have ridden the MRT is an observation exercise in male social behavior and test of the almost extinct virtue of chivalry.

There will be guys who will sleep through the ride (or totally ignore you) while seated, oblivious of you standing in front of them. Or spring a delightful surprise on you as someone did last week at the train when he stood up and gave up his seat for me. Awwwww!

Boys will be boys they say and my boys were no different. If they were hungry, they would race to get the food on the table — never mind if their sisters were there. They would also race to get inside the car first as the passenger seat beside the driver was the seat of choice. We girls were often left opening doors ourselves. As for shopping bags? They were the first to complain of being tired and would pass their bags to me or hubby to carry.

So when M1 entered Grade 7, I felt it was time to teach him the finer points of being a gentleman, seeing that in high school, he would begin socializing with those of the opposite gender.

I would take a few occasions to teach him. For example, when we would ride the car, I would tell him that the gentleman opens the door for a lady and closes it once she is in. At the doors of malls or any place we would go to, I would remind him that the gentleman opens the door to let the ladies through. Ladies always had first pick of food (no matter how famished you were!).

I was not particularly successful in the 7th grade. Come to think of it, I also struggled through his first year in high school. Many, many times, I found myself repeating over and over the gentleman’s etiquette rules. Once I had to ask myself if my sons would ever learn to be gentlemen.

Now that M1 is in his junior year in high school, I see a wonderful transformation. Once at a mall, after seeing my hands full of shopping bags, he actually came up to me and took them. Every time we ride in the car nowadays, I delight in him opening the door for his Mama and closing it after me. Even when crossing the street, I realize that he moves always in the direction of the dangerous side of oncoming cars as he accompanies me across. WOW!

There are still things we have not practised together, such as pulling out a chair for a lady to seat her. But we will eventually get there. One lesson at a time. For now, I see my M1 growing into (hopefully) a gentleman with genteel manners. After all, if I enjoy being at the receiving end of chivalry, I want my sons to likewise make their female friends feel the same way.

My next target: M2 (who is now in first year high school).

Wish me luck! 🙂