My dad passed away in 2001.
It was totally unexpected. He had just returned from a 10-day trip to our province, Iloilo, to take care of some family matters. He made a special trip to Bacolod where some of his brothers resided. They noticed he was breathless and seemed tired but he dismissed this as just travel fatigue. But by the time he returned to Manila, he was in such bad shape that he was in a wheelchair when my brother met him at the arrival area. We went to visit him the next day (a Saturday) not knowing that by the following day, he would be gone forever from us.
He was not demonstrative. And I can’t say that I was his favorite. But in many ways, he showed how particularly special I was to him.
Of the 4 children in the family, it was I who followed in his footsteps and took Accountancy. I knew he was very proud when I passed the CPA Board because he himself was unable to take the exam. He was protective to the point of suffocation sometimes. I was a “hatid-sundo” girl when I would work way past midnight as a budding auditor in a prestigious accounting firm. When I had to take my MBA in the States, it was Dad who came along to ensure I was well settled in Philadelphia. And when I took a summer Europe trip, Dad readily sent me some pocket money. It was much, much later that I found out they were renovating our house. That was money that could have been added to defraying their expenses. Yet he sent it to me.
Dad, you were not the type to wrestle with your kids. You were a breadwinner & provider more than a weekend buddy. You were a silent, strong presence.
You were usually quiet around strangers but was always the family joker when around relatives. Those were fun times…
I inherited your OC-ness, attention to detail and system of organizing things.
Dad, you made the best version of Mahu (that Chinese shredded pork cooked with Kikkoman soy sauce (not just any soy sauce would do!). You should see Benjie (my brother). He has taken after you and is now the official mahu maker in the family.
You loved your grandkids. I still have this picture in my mind of Ian falling asleep on your shoulder as you rocked him in your arms. You enjoyed each and every one of them.
Dad, I hope you are looking down on me from up there constantly. I love you very much and miss you terribly. I wish I had one more day to celebrate Father’s Day with you and just talk with you all day. We will see each other again, for sure. For now, I have wonderful memories of you to carry me through the rest of my life. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. Thank you for loving me so much.
I found this poem on the internet. All I can give you this Father’s Day is in this poem, Dad. Happy Father’s Day!
Missing You
No words I write can ever say
How much I miss you every day.
As time goes by, the loneliness grows;
How I miss you, nobody knows!
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name,
But all I have are memories
And photos in a frame.
No one knows my sorrow,
No one sees me weep,
But the love I have for you
Is in my heart to keep.
I’ve never stopped loving you
I’m sure I never will;
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches in this world are many
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low,
“I need you and I miss you so.”
The things we feel so deeply
Are often the hardest to say,
But I just can’t keep quiet any more,
So I’ll tell you anyway.
There is a place in my heart
That no one else can fill,
I love you so, Dad,
And I always will.
~ Author Unknown