It takes getting used to but I think I am slowly learning the “let go” technique.
Our eldest daughter C1 just came back from a 5-day trip to Hong Kong with long-time high school friends (Gin, Pam, Cha, Meg) who also happen to be her schoolmates at the BLUE school. With them was their “friend-cum-bouncer-cum-bodyguard” Harold who is also from the same school.
It was C1’s first time abroad without at least one of us. Prior to departure, I collected all the cellphone numbers of her companions, googled the hotel’s address and did all the stuff mother hens normally do.
But I guess this is a time when TRUST (not just in your kid, but in the way you reared them) comes to fore. I had to trust in that trust.
Well, she is back home with loads of pics from HK Disneyland which I will be posting shortly. But in a week, another kid flies the coop. This time, it is our youngest boy M2 who will be away in China on a foreign study program with some of his batchmates and teachers. Will I miss him? Hell I will! But I know that we will both learn from this experience. For him, it is learning to survive without yayas, fending for himself and drawing on his own resources. For me, another lesson in letting go…
I learned to let my girls travel without me since their early teens. I taught them to travel while we were on a choir tour. That’s why they know how to travel alone or with a group. But I still want us to travel as a family.
Jane: The 2 boys traveled to the province by plane on their own last summer. Anxious Mom kept tabs on them but they were not the least worried. So I think I will ease back on being a worry-wart and go with the flow….
It’s always nice to travel as a family. Gets harder as they grow older though…
In the past, traveling without family was very difficult for the people left at home. Cellphones have changed that. My own family has also learned to ease up on worrying.
Jane: Yes, roaming on cellphones indeed changes everything!!!
How time flies. One day we’re changing their diapers, the next they’re conquering the world. We now know how our parents felt when we finally stepped into the real world.
*don’t forget to drink lots of water.
Jane: (sigh) So, so true! I SO appreciate my parents now. And Bro, I really appreciate your concern for my health. Yes, so far I have kept up with my water drinking. Thanks and sige pa rin ang reminders, ha? 🙂
I have a long way to go before I can talk about this of my kids but I am sure I too will have a hard time letting go.
Jane: I just saw our youngest off to China today. You prepare for this day but when it comes you realize you are really NOT that prepared. It is something that will repeat itself over and over again as they grow older…until they finally leave the nest permanently. But they always leave bearing with them imprints of what we ingrain in them.
My two younger children, as young as 6 and 4, are now in the province with my parents, spending a two-week vacation which will end November 4 when we fetch them. I know they miss us. We miss them too. But this is time spent for me to be with my eldest child who spends less time with us due to time spent in school.
But to think of them as grown ups ready to “conquer the world” I just pray and wish that I have given them the proper guidance to look after themselves well.
Thanks for the reminder, Jane, that we should trust that trust in how we reared them.
Jane: Julie, it is always easier said than done, believe me. Every time one leaves, I have visions of what could go wrong. But I try to suppress those fears, just pray for protection over them, and trust that what we tried to instill in them comes to fore.
Hi Jane. Thanks for sharing this lovely photo. It sure looks like they all had a great time. It must have been quite tough to be separated from your daughter for several days.
I also believe in the importance of showing a child that you trust him/her. This trust is built and strengthened through the years.
I haven’t experienced this before because my son is still too young but I imagine the challenge of letting go and giving my son space to grow and discover things on his own.
Jane: Rach, it is really difficult. I have not heard from my son in China yet and I constantly wonder how he is. But again, it means he does not miss home that much (and that is good!). He is also learning to open those wings to prepare to fly.